Hi. I'm Katie.

1. Oftentimes I find myself alive and thinking coherently. And then, I just come to realize certain things that make me feel smart... or stupidly sarcastic and witty in ways only I'll ever appreciate.

2. Whenever someone picks up a spherical piece of fruit, it is immediately thrown into the air, either from one hand to the other or in an up-down fashion. This is to prove hand-eye coordination to all of the people watching, where the audience size is usually upwards of zero.

3. People who are fascinated by how much water I drink in one day usually say “Oh that’s so good for you! I should start drinking more water like you.” They never do. People just like to talk because they are disconcerted by silence.

4. I have bought birthday gifts for my friends over the past few years... yet the friendship never seems to be going well when my birthday rolls around and I don’t receive anything in return. Ever. WTF? I blame part of my poorness on having to buy my own birthday presents. And no, I do not feel needy and greedy because I want to be showered with love on my birthday in the form of new material possessions. Every now and then I like a new t-shirt or an iTunes gift card or something made by my little sister. So sue me.

5. Students are more likely to fall asleep in class if the teacher is monotonous. It’s not always because they didn’t get a lot of sleep or have a hard time focusing. I develop my attention level based on (1) my interest in the class, (2) the teacher’s energy and frequency by which the tone of their voice changes, and (3) who I sit next to. And since first is the worst, second is the best, and third is the one with the hairy chest (*takes breath*) I have to (1) try to only pick interesting classes, (2) find the greatest teachers, and (3) sit next to dudes in order to do well in school.

6. Everyone keeps secrets. I don’t think there is a way to have someone who knows everything I’m thinking unless we share a brain... and that would just be weird.

7. If you tell someone their fly is down (i.e. the zipper on their pants is not zipped fully) they think you were staring at their crotch.

8. Air conditioning is the only way I stay alive during the summer.

9. The Friday Night Boys have a great EP, a stellar first record, and so much potential. I had been listening to their stuff for a little while before the concert, but ever since I saw them live I AM OBSESSED! iLike “Suicide Sunday”, “Stuttering”, “Permanent Heartbreak”, and “That’s What She Said” the most. And if I had to pick a ballad, I would choose “Can’t Take That Away”. zomg. It’s a fiery infatuation all around.

10. 95% of the male population will crumple up their paper and shoot (not throw or toss) it into the waste paper bin. 99% of those men will call “Kobe” in honor of the American basketball player Kobe Bryant, and the other 1% of men who call “Bobby” in honor of the American quidditch chaser Robert Green.

11. Most of the people I drive behind start breaking before they turn on their blinker to signal that they are turning and not just mentally deficient. One day I’ll end up giving one of those people a love-tap just because it frustrates the hell out of me.

12. Not enough people watch and appreciate Spongebob Squarepants.

13. I don’t have ADHD (I think). I have PROCRASTINATED (for those of you on the unawares, that stands for Probably Ruining Only Chance Remaining At Success, Thumbing Incessantly, Never Amounting To Enything Disorder... I am co-founder of the movement trying to legalize it as a real disease... we’ll be approved sometime after medical marijuana).

*13 is said to be an unlucky number. That just makes it my favorite.